He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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