Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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