I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Found the puke drawer
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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