I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
