what if every blade of grass was a penis?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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