I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
