used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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