You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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