Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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