i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
