dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It's just like the Real World with babies
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
