you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
