He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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