I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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