maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
