We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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