Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
