imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
