Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
