She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
