It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
