can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
