I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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