Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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