Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I love you.
Bad choice
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
