Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
