PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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