Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
