O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
