Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
