It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
