He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
a search helicopter?!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
