I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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