Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
smell my finger.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
