No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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