Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
