I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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