She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
