No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
