ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
