Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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