I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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