Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
