Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
How drunk are you?
Completed.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
