jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
