okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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