i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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