I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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