I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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