He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
