I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
