Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
