Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
